3 Things I am Keeping in Mind During Early Toddlerhood

When I say early toddlerhood, I'm talking about a child in the age range of about a year old to eighteen months old. I have a 16-month old son. There is a LOT of pointing and shrieking happening at our house as functional communication is slowly developing. Here are three things I am keeping in mind as we navigate early toddlerhood.

1. Take my own pulse each morning

I notice such a big difference on the days I check in with myself first thing in the morning. When I am honest about how I'm feeling and what I need. I will do a quick body scan- starting with my toes and working my way up. Where in my body do I feel tight? Tense? Relaxed? Breathe into the tense areas. The state of my nervous system impacts the way that I interact with my son throughout the day. I cannot control how my child acts. I can only control my actions and reactions. Taking just 3 minutes each morning to check in with myself and breathe really sets the tone for the day.

My tip: Over time, create a list of things that works when you're feeling anxious, sad, distracted, numb, angry. It's not our job to train ourselves not to feel "negative" emotions. It's our job to use the emotions we're feeling as information and use strategies that work for us. Refine your list over time and be honest about what works and ditch what doesn't work for you.

2. "Should's" are not welcome here

Every day with a toddler is a different day. Even if your child could do something you asked them to do yesterday or last week, there's a good chance they may not be able to do it today. Our toddlers are so sensitive to hunger, sleepiness, and/or illness symptoms that change from day to day.

This is a reminder to myself that "should's" are not helpful for anyone. The focus, rather, should be: "How can I best support my child in this moment?"

3. Expect & Prepare for Delays/Challenges

The things that used to take no time at all now take time. A lot of time. My son insists that he walks down the stairs to our garage instead of being carried. It seems he gets distracted by every pebble he encounters on said walk. Walking down the stairs takes an extra 5 minutes. God forbid I forget something upstairs in the house and the clock restarts.

I realized I needed to add time to our schedule for "commuting" instead of hurrying him down the stairs. When possible, I try to predict the steps in our daily activities that will likely take more time. Sometimes I'm correct and sometimes there are other things that prove more challenging than I thought they'd be. I remind myself, again, that each day is a different day and it's my job to help my son through the tough moments, not make them stop.

It really helps me to narrate what I'm observing during tough moments. Just like a sportscaster- not judgmental, just giving voice to what I'm seeing play out.

What are you keeping in mind during this stage of life?